The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
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