I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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