don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Randomize
