I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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