I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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