How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Randomize
