he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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