sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Randomize
