So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
