i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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