Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
