is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
