Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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