no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Randomize
