my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
