his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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