a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
