I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize