if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Barsexuality is the new black.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Randomize
