gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
God I need to hump something, right now.
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