i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
