i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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