I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize