32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
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