meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
How's work?
Spinning.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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