If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
then he tried to convert me to islam
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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