whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
