no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
