It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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