we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
