she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
