i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
