You're so nebulous sometimes
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
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