What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
