I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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