i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
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