had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize