Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
The air was thick with penises
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
