I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
