It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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