need another drink. this is the easiest way
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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