Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize