So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
