I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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