i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
