Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
im holly from the hills drunk
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
