You're so nebulous sometimes
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
