fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Randomize
