I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
you win again, gameday.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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