READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
