pedialite and red bull = repair kit
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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