shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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