i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
