It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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