This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
