you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
