Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
