waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Randomize