Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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